Tragic Boating Accident

and wouldn’t you know it would be a fart joke?

Watermelon: Green on the outside, red on the inside.

Pickle: Green on the outside, green and sour on the inside.

This story has both watermelons and pickles. Some sheik flies his Lambo Murciélago LP640 from Qatar to London so it can be serviced by people who know what they are doing, and then flies it back home again. The proletariat are up in arms.

A cargo handler at Heathrow blasted the car’s environmental damage.

He said: “It would have been far more efficient to fly mechanics out there.”

Not really. The modern cars are serviced by the use of a Lamborghini diagnostic computer. You NEED that to properly service the car. If they are anything like the other and more famous Italian car maker that ends in an “i,” the Lambo factory won’t sell a computer to the sheik, even at the “I’m a sheik” price, and the UK Lambo dealership needs their computer to work on its other customers’ cars, so it can’t go to Qatar. It’s best all-around to have the car in the shop rather than take the shop to the car.

That guy’s a watermelon. Only a god-forsaken communist worries about the environmental damage caused by a simple little Lamborghini.

The trouble with the maples,
(And they’re quite convinced they’re right)
They say the oaks are just too lofty
And they grab up all the light.

I am distantly acquainted with the owner of a McLaren F1, and from what I hear, the procedure for servicing those unusually special cars in their far-from-Woking homes is very well organized.

Every F1 is supplied with a modem, which enables Customer Care to “talk” to any F1 anywhere in the world. Not only can the McLaren Automotive technicians read any logged errors in the ECU’s, they can carry out a series of diagnostic procedures on items as varied as the air-conditioning system and the fuel gauge.

Lambo doesn’t have that. The car needs to go see the dealer, not the other way ’round.

And Jenny Evans, of pressure group Plane Stupid, said: “This horrifies me. It is another example of how rich people exploit and pollute the planet because of their money.”

She said the role of the super-wealthy in climate change was not properly recognised – while poor people were rapped for going on holiday.

She’s a pickle; she’s green on the outside and green with jealousy on the inside. This is basically just “I don’t have a Lambo, so you shouldn’t either.” And… “pressure group?” I can see their mailers now: “Don’t you really really want to buy some carbon credits from us?”

Friends of the Earth’s transport campaigner Richard Dyer said: “Flying a car thousands of miles for a service is ludicrous when planes are one of the most polluting ways to transport goods. We urge the individual to get their car serviced closer to home.”

Riiiight, watermelon. Look, Achmed may know how to change the plugs on the Land Cruiser, but an LP640 takes a whole ‘nother level of knowledge to keep in top form. If you know any auto brokers, ask them about the typical maintenance history of the used exotic cars being sold from the middle east. An LP640 is not a car that can be treated like a Toyota, or even like a Mercedes; if you fail to service an Italian exotic properly, you’ll be buying a new engine in short order. Very often, the exotics that go to the middle east are used up, like a child uses up his toys, because they aren’t serviced properly; after 5 years, the neglected cars need everything.

In other words, stop hatin’ on the poor sheik. Look at it this way: He’s saving that Lambo from going to the landfill - one round-trip-flight-to-England at a time.

But David Price, of Lamborghini Club UK, said: “If an owner wants to service his car in that way, it is his choice.

It is his choice - for now. I get the feeling that, especially in the UK, there are a lot of people who would like to forcibly take that choice away from the guy. This incessant push to Obamafy de-evolve (Are We Not Men?) the world into the bland grey Age of the Common Man continues to baffle and depress me.

So the maples formed a union
And demanded equal rights.
“The oaks are just too greedy;
We will make them give us light.”
Now there’s no more oak oppression,
For they passed a noble law,
And the trees are all kept equal
By hatchet, axe, and saw.

There’s a whole bunch of Neal Schon’s music stuff for sale at Bananas Music. That Jimi Hendrix full Marshall stack is calling me… “Dude, get it, your neighbors like you, and that’s just wrong!”

Gravity + wasp spray + eye = sucks to be me.

The World Spins by Julee Cruise (from Twin Peaks).

Steepandcheap.com is doing Oakley stuff all day today. Did you know that there is a site that has nothing but reviews of Oakley gear? You know now; it’s o-review.com.

JETPACK.

WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT THIS NOW NOW NOW NOW.

MUST. SELL. EVERYTHING.
MUST. HAVE. NOW.

The video is actually not that impressive, but the promised specs on the thing (up to 40 minutes of flight) are astonishing.

ETA: Found some more video. Hmmm. So far, the performance != the hype. Jermaine, stop teasing.

It is NOT spelled f-a-r-t-w-a-l-l-e-t dawt c-o-m. That is all.

for “Fat Princess:” It’s “heteronormative.” Does that even translate into Japanese?

“Shinji, she said that the moral of this game is that everyone should act like society expects them to! And that boys like thin pretty girls!”

“And the problem with that is… what, exactly?”

Also,the Japanese are now taxing themselves for being too fat. I guess Sony could make a game called “Tax Princess: WeighStation 3″ where you control the heroine on her perilous journey to pay her income tax, but no one’s lining up at the GameStop to play that. Jeez, no one is getting a spike grenade to the head here; let her eat cake!

Today is the 14th anniversary of my first date with Mrs. Boater. Yay us!